Text: SHELTER to 313131
1.800.NO ABORT (662.2678)
"Saved" Baby Maria
(born in 2009)
Baby Maria's great grandmother saved her when she was only three months in her mother's womb. Her mother was homeless in Utah and while her grandmother thought abortion was the best solution, her grandmother searched and found us on the Internet. Once she found us and we interviewed Maria's teen mother over the phone, her great grandmother paid for an airplane ticket to NJ. Now six months later, "saved" baby Maria is born, her mother is in college for a career in the medical field and her great-grandmother is also her god mother because baby Maria was baptized three weeks ago!
Excerpt: I am 13 years old and I was reading the stories about how to tell your parents you are having a baby and it made me think how much I wanted to have a baby. I want to have one with my boyfriend but then I don't want to hurt my parents. And if you knew my parents you would understand. I really want to have a baby 'cause it is the thought that you brought another life in this world, and that you will tell everyone that look, look what I made, I made a beautiful child who I love and I will take care of my whole life. it makes me think how much I want one but I don't want my parent to think badly of me. I don't know what to do. Please help me.
Lifecall Reply: I understand that you are feeling like you want to have a baby. At 13, you can think that having a baby will be the solution to feeling loved and needed and all happy things. But having a baby requires lots of time and a mature commitment that best requires more life experience.
Babies need all your time. Babies need all your attention. Babies get sick and it takes so very much patience and such a commitment that someone as young as you would quickly be overwhelmed.
I have been helping unwed mothers for almost 20 years and I can tell you from personal experience the few times that a young teen decided to get herself pregnant so she could have a baby on purpose, well it simply didn't work out. My very first girl who thought like you actually had her daughter taken away from her by the State. She simply just couldn't handle all the responsibility.
You should be thinking about getting your education and growing up in other ways before getting married and having a baby. Have you visited our Chastity website? and The Choice Game? Both might be worth you spending some time on them and then write me back and let me know what you think.
Do you pray, do you go to Church, do you study the Bible? If you do these things then you might realize that God does not want His children to participate in sex until they are united in Holy Matrimony. He knows what is best for us and if you pray and ask Him to, He will help you through these feelings. I hope this email helps you and I look forward to hearing from you again soon. God bless.
Excerpt: I want to have a baby, am I wrong? I am going to be 21, but I feel so empty and it's all that is on my mind ??? What is wrong with me, is it bad?
Lifecall Reply: Feeling "empty" is not unusual as we go through our daily life. But may I ask you some questions: what is your relationship with God like? Do you pray? To you read your Bible?
Having a baby is a lot of responsibility and really a child deserves a mother and a father in a true family setting, don't you think? Try reading some of the Psalms. I just opened my bible for you and turned to Psalms 3 which starts:
"O Lord...how my adversaries have increased. Many are rising up against me. Many are saying of my soul, "There is no deliverance for him in God." But Thou O Lord, art a shield about me. My glory, and the One who lifts my head. I was crying to the Lord with my voice. And He answered me from His Holy Mountain. I lay down and slept; I awake, for the Lord sustains me. I will not be afraid of ten thousand people who have set themselves against me round about. Arise, O Lord, save me, O my God! For Thou hast smitten all my enemies on the cheek; Thou hast shattered the teeth of the wicked, Salvation belongs to the Lord; Thy blessing be upon Thy people."
This may not be the answer you were looking for. I only know that for me, the only source of true comfort and wisdom is God. Ask Him to help you, to heal you, to hold you in the Palm of His Divine Hand. He will if you ask it of Him. Pray often to ask God to comfort you and help you through your loneliness. Ask Him to send you His Most Holy Spirit to comfort you. That is His promise. When He returned physically to Heaven Jesus said, "I will not leave you orphans. I will send you the Comforter.. the Holy Spirit." So I would ask God to please send His Spirit to you to comfort you.
A baby requires total commitment from two parents. A baby requires so many focused moments of a person's time and energy. You might want to take time to volunteer for a non-profit organization. Or how about baby-sitting for friends or family. How about becoming a big sister to a needy child who would love to give you her time and attention. You relationship with her might just help make her life better and her world less lonely too. Get closer to God. Ask Him to guide you. In time you will see things will improve. Please write me back. Please know I will be praying for you... and sure would love it if you would say a prayer for me too.
Excerpt: My boyfriend and I have a few questions about teenage pregnancy. I am 13 well in 2 months I'll be 14 and I want to have a baby, soon... like in the next year.
Okay, here are some questions. How long does it take for you to start putting on weight?? Is it your decision to have an abortion or is it up to your parents to have the abortion at a young age? Could I die when having the baby? Well that's it. Thank you for your time.
Lifecall Reply: How are you? I have carefully read your email and promise to answer. While you say they are a few questions, they most certainly are very important and real. I would like a day or two to answer you. Since it is not a real emergency, is that ok with you? Are you sexually active now? Just wondering, I have a CD I'd like to send you called "The Choice Game" and it can be played in your CD player and in your computer. It is totally FREE !!! Could you send me a mailing address? I promise not to share the address with anyone. We are a Christian group and only want to help you make good future choices. I will be praying for you.
Second Lifecall Reply: I have been thinking and praying about your questions. I have even asked for some help from some of my friends who help me in my work for unwed mothers. Here is one response I received from a young friend of mine:
[I know a girl who became pregnant, and luckily decided to have the baby, however, she is only a sophomore and 16 years old. Now, instead of being able to enjoy high school, go out with friends, go to football games and so on, she is constantly changing diapers, feeding the baby, trying to figure out how to repay her parents back....she lost her freedom, she is tied down, and now will not have the high school teenage experience everyone should have. It is very sad to hear that someone younger than her is desiring such a thing. If you would like, I would be more than willing to talk to her, otherwise feel free to share this experience.]
Ok, where do we go from here? Well, I would like to share with you some of the letters from the young women who have lived at our shelters: Just click on this link, Letters from Mothers.
Each of my mothers struggle to get through each and every day. I am very proud of them because they have chosen life for their preborn children. And I am sure God is pleased with their choice for abortion is against His Commandment, "Thou Shalt not kill." But, why not learn about life and how to be an adult before moving on to being a mother? And what about two loving parents raising a baby together? Don't you think a father needs to be present if at all possible to raise a healthy child? Don't you think learning to be a married lady comes before being a mother? If it is at all possible, why not do the logical thing. Prepare yourself for your future husband by education, experience, prayer and God's Guidance? Let me share with you some ideas my mothers have had about chastity...that is learning from their mistakes and promising God that they would not have sex again until they were married.
Each of my mothers is given a chastity ring when their babies are born. This ring symbolizes their honest desire to wait until they are married before getting sexually involved.
Be careful, you are going to get your heart broken. That is what I see at the shelters. A lot of broken hearted mothers who are trying their very best to be a good mom but it is very hard.
I would really like to send you some materials, including a copy of our new game. Please, if you can, send me your address. And write me again. God bless... and I will be praying for you.